She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
