He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
