also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize