i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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