1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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