Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
