This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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