Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
