so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
vagina is talking i cant
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
