She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
