my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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