I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize