And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
