I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
