giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
