He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
