That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
