omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
she looked like the before picture.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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