oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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