Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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