Duck Duck Cougar?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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