I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
