Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
