I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
