But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
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