i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
