Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize