I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
