can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
this hospital has no fireball
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
