so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
