dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
