i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
