last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
