That's intense
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
