Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.

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(706): View more from Georgia

dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.

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(713): View more from Texas

On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.

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(678): View more from Georgia

i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade

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(714): View more from California

She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.

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(310): View more from California

I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass

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(940): View more from Texas

They have beer where we have blood.

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(817): View more from Texas

you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with

(214): View more from Texas

Did it work?

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