I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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