why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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