Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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