Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
