It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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