Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
