did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
