she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
