States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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