So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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