HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
