I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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