Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
