theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
