kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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