i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Randomize
