Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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