in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
