two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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