question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
